Category Archives: #epicjourney

Time Cat’s Log – Stardate 11304.30

Part 1 – Time Cats, Dogleks, and the Time War

Many, many years ago, beyond the Medusa Cascade, on the planet Gallifrey (after which my human “named” me upon my arrival in this universe), there lived a race of beings called the Time Cats. The Time Cats, contrary to popular opinion, actually pre-date our Time Lord counterparts, however, the Time Lords will dispute that fact ad nauseum. We were a mostly peaceful race, although, admittedly, there were a few grisly wars in our history. One of these wars, called the Time War, led directly to my eventual association with Pawfleet. The Time War was fought between the Time Cats and the Dogleks, who were evil, vicious creatures with no thought for anything but themselves and destroying the furniture… I mean, universe.

Originally the Dogleks were a peaceful and intelligent race, loving and nurturing, however, they fell prey to another, more war-like civilization called the Veterinarians. The Veterinarians waged war against the Dogleks, which culminated in the Flea Bath Massacre, completely destroying the Veterinarians (thankfully) and almost all of the Dogleks. The few survivors of the Flea Bath Massacre that remained were forced to create metallic pods in which to live, due to the permanent sensitivity of their skin caused by the Flea Bath chemicals. Somehow, the chemicals also seeped into their brains, removing most intelligent thought (they actually LIKE car rides and walks on a leash *shocked ears*), and all emotion except hate and an incessant need for revenge.

The Dogleks soon began to mimic the Veterinarians’ war-like civilization, tormenting every race they could come in contact with. They chased the Squirrelfolk into the highest branches of trees, ripped up the sacred breeding nests of the Bird People, tormented the Skunkatorians so badly that their fur became two-toned from stress, drove the Silurians from their ancestral homes (and eventually to the lower strata of planet Earth), and ultimately turned their attention on the Time Cats. The war waged on for thousands of years.

Eventually, the leader of the Time Cats, Rassifluffy, decided to put an end to the Time War for good. He decided that the only way to stop the Dogleks was to enact the “Final Sanction” and destroy all of time and space, including the Time Cats and Dogleks. Rassifluffy was a little bit mad and drunk with power at this point, I’m afraid, and I did not agree that this was the best course of action. Unfortunately, the majority of the Time Cats were so used to being at war and under Rassifluffy’s leadership that they were indifferent to the consequences the Final Sanction would create, and did not see what I saw.

To save my people, my universe, and all of time and space, I took it upon myself to steal a LATKIS (Litter and Tasty Kibble in Space) and form a Time Lock around the entire events of the Time War. To this day, the Time War still, to my knowledge, rages on inside the Time Lock.